Ashenafe: Brother and Son

We are officially horrible bloggers. Now that several months have passed, we decided it is high time we return to our blog. Much has happened in the past few months. Most of you by now know we’ll be leaving Ethiopia at the end of the school year. In August we’ll be moving to Xiamen, China. Yes, big changes; we spent most of the past few months going through that process. While we’re excited to go to China, we are sad to leave Ethiopia. We do want to share what a wonderful time we have had and how incredible the people of Ethiopia are. So, we plan to renew our focus on this blog. We hope! We’ll start by telling you about the person in Ethiopia we know the most.

Ashenafe is both our brother and our son. A 16 year old boy that has lived with us since October, Ashenafe is officially our guard, house cleaner, Asher’s nanny, personal shopper, gardener, bill payer, and negotiator. But in reality he is our friend, brother, son, and what we now see as our biggest impact in Ethiopia.

We first met Ashenafe in September 2008. When we walked from home to school, we would always see Ashenafe on the streets. It is very common for poor or homeless Ethiopians to ask any foreigner for money. Ashenafe was essentially homeless—his mother in the countryside could not provide for him, so they sent him to Addis to find his uncle. While he did find his uncle and stayed with him, he often spent nights on the street. But Ashenafe was different right away. He never asked for anything. Instead, he would do odd jobs to earn money. He shined shoes, carried bags, slaughtered sheep, sold dogs, washed cars, and even tried to sell Keegan a monkey. When I (Keegan) needed my shoes shined, I would wait until I saw Ashenafe, and we would practice my little Amharic and his English while he shined. A relationship began to grow.

Soon we invited Ashenafe to eat dinner with us. He ate pasta as if he was completely famished! We learned about his family, his father who died as a soldier, and what his life was like. Though he was lucky to earn 100 birr a month, he saved his money to pay for his own night school. We quickly realized how honest, mature, and wise Ashenafe was for his age and situation. We offered to help—“What do you need?” we asked. We left the question open to about anything. “A pair of shoes and a pair of pants” was his reply. When I think of myself in Ashenafe’s situation, what would I ask for? Money? A job? A ticket to America? I doubt I would stop at shoes and pants.

We bought Ashenafe a new outfit—shoes, pants, a shirt—and he soon got a stable job working at a restaurant. Our relationship continued to grow. When Asher was born, Ashenafe brought flowers that were nicer than those brought by all of our other friends, including an engineer and a doctor. How much of his monthly salary did he use? When we came back to Addis in September, we quickly got back in touch. We soon found out that Ashenafe had to work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. He was unable to go to school anymore. When we couldn’t rehire Teshei (our house-helper/nanny we loved last year), Ashenafe made a proposal: he would work for us, live with us, and do whatever we needed. And, above all, he would love Asher like a big brother.

So here we are, parenting both an 8 month old and a 16 year old. In ways, Ashenafe is incredibly mature for his age—he has learned from living in the streets, being more or less abandoned, surviving on his own. But he is still 16. He has no idea how to budget, how to do things quietly (We nicknamed him Atto Chachata—Mr. Loud), and how to time manage. Yet we are so blessed by Ashenafe! We joke with him, laugh together, play games together, and love having him as a part of our family. And he certainly is Asher’s wondam (brother)—Asher lights up when Ashenafe is around. Ashenafe was Asher’s first babysitter, and he will be very hard to top!

We hope that we have blessed Ashenafe. He is rapidly learning English, goes to night school and driving school, and is learning other skills. He knows he is loved and provided for as a brother, not as an employee. But we know that we have been far more blessed by him—in our relationship, the perspective he has taught us, and by making life in Ethiopia wonderful.

In July, we’ll be leaving Ethiopia. Ashenafe will remain. What will become of him? We’re working hard to find him a new job, a home, a family that can love him like we have—and that will love like he has loved us! But even as we live in China or wherever life takes us, Ashenafe will remain an important part of our life. In our minds, Ashenafe is not so different from all Ethiopians. He represents the best in Ethiopia—kindness, selflessness, generosity, love, humor, and faith.