Tsehei and Aberash: Our Help We Couldn’t Live Without!

Photo1: Tsehei and Anne at a Christmas Tea

Photo 2: Aberash and Keegan outside our kitchen

When we were preparing to come to Africa, one of the biggest unknowns
was having a house helper. While we knew that having house help is
common throughout much of Africa, we weren’t sure how comfortable we
were with the idea. We wondered: would she live with us? Would we
have privacy? How do we be friends and bosses at the same time?
After seven months we’ve adjusted just fine and would even like to see
some aspects added to the American culture!

Our “house-helper” is named Tsehei. She is 28 years old and lives
with us in our compound. Tsehei is from rural Ethiopia and is
incredibly devoted to the Orthodox Christian Church. Tsehei has been
one of the greatest blessings to us in Ethiopia. She does far more
than we expected and for that we are so grateful. Like all house help
she keeps our house and compound clean, does our laundry (washes by
hand, hangs them to dry, and irons), and does our dishes. She also
cooks our breakfast and reheats our dinners. In addition to these
normal tasks, she helps us as foreigners with ever day life. She
speaks very good English, so she is always able to answer our
questions, give us directions, tell us about culture, and even helps
keep us in line! She takes us to Merkato, a huge and intimidating
open-air market where we would be overwhelmed without her, and
negotiates prices for us. She translates for us when we try to talk
with people in the neighborhood. And when we do mismanage our
shopping and forget something, Tsehei often fills in and buys the
items we’re missing. She gives us advice about the best places to
shop, hospitals, places to avoid, and any other information we need to
know. She does all this in addition to her everyday tasks. In
Africa, keeping up on the household duties is a full time job because
things need to be cleaned everyday; laundry is an all day event, etc.
Because these “ordinary” things take so much effort, everyone has a
house-helper, regardless of class. Our life here would be infinitely
more difficult without Tshei!

We feel that we’ve found a comfortable balance of friendship with
Tsehei. We’ll occasionally ask her to eat with us or go to an event.
We communicate freely about our days, how we are all feeling, and are
beginning to discuss deeper things like culture and church. She is
like an older sister in ways but the dynamics of being her “employer”
can make that awkward. Still the balance is challenging; we tend to
wonder if we are doing enough to be friendly as we value her so much.
We try to balance loving and treating her as family with the “work”
side.

In addition to Tsehei, we also have a cook during the day, Monday
through Saturday. For us the food situation in Ethiopia has been more
challenging than we expected. Shopping takes lots of time - there is
no Wal-Mart! – and we have to pick up a few items each day, often
going to multiple stores on our walk home. Everything is made fresh
and from scratch (there are no processed foods or frozen meals here!).
So every meal takes time, creativity, and planning! Doing just the
planning and shopping can take an entire Saturday, and we don’t even
cook it! So that is why we are thankful for Aberash. We don’t have
enough hours in the day to plan, buy, prepare and cook ourselves.
While Aberash has many specialties that we love (cinnamon rolls,
lasagna, and pizza!), we’ve learned that Ethiopians view food
differently than Americans. As Americans we want variety; most
Ethiopians eat virtually the same food three times a day. Most locals
have their house helpers also do all the cooking. However, because we
are foreigners and have more “unique” meals that take additional work
and preparation, a separate cook is needed. Whether it’s her age or
her home cooking, Aberash is close to being our Ethiopian Grandma.

While having a house helper and cook sounds extravagant, it’s no
different than having a microwave, washing machine, dishwasher, and
constant Wal-Mart access. We recognize the cultural norm and that
life without Tsehei and Aberash would be unbelievably challenging. We
are blessed continually by them. We try to be a blessing to them in
return.